Last weekend I had my 40th birthday party. It was so much fun (honestly one of the best nights of my life!) but I found myself feeling anxious afterwards. I was wondering to myself…
“Do I deserve to throw a party like this for myself?”
“Will people think I’m self-centered?”
“Am I too much?”
Whatever the answer is to those questions it doesn’t really matter, because the point is that as women we are trained to be small, needless, unobtrusive, and palatable. And celebrating yourself, needing something, or having preferences doesn’t fit within that paradigm. Of course the first thought that came into my mind was
“I’m needing too much. I am not deserving of this much attention. From anyone. It is wrong for me to want to celebrate myself.”
…but that isn’t true. You deserve attention, care, and respect. From others and from yourself.
When it comes to food, women are typically the default meal planner, cook, and grocery shopper. This isn’t true for all households, but it is for the majority. Research shows that women are more likely to take primary responsibility for meal planning and food preparation and spend more time cooking than men, even today. (Flagg et al., 2014; Taillie, 2018; BLS time-use data).
And even though women are in charge of the food, we feel bad when taking the time to prepare food for ourselves or making our preferences a priority. Our meals are an afterthought. Our kids’ scraps. Something we throw together quickly.
Prioritizing yourself and your needs, celebrating yourself, or even just resting is considered “selfish.” But who else is supposed to take care of us if not ourselves? Where did this notion even come from?
Well, it goes back a long way. This idea is rooted in centuries of patriarchal systems and religious ideologies that positioned women as caregivers first, humans second (Lerner, 1986). Women were expected to be self-sacrificing, emotionally available, and responsible for everyone else’s well-being… often at the expense of their own. Sound familiar? I see these traits in many women in my family as well as myself. But playing the martyr breeds resentment, creates burnout, and leads to feeling unfulfilled and uncared for.
Even today, research shows that women are expected to be more selfless and are judged more harshly when they prioritize themselves (Heilman & Okimoto, 2007). Over time, that message sticks. Not just culturally, but internally.
We don’t just do it. We believe it. We internalize that making ourself a priority is selfish, and that being selfish makes us bad.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to show up for everyone else in our lives while putting ourselves last.
Can we be done with this shit in the year of our lord*, 2026? Before you can pour into your family, your friends, your work, you need to fill your own cup. It’s not always possible to do everything you want all the time (unfortunately 😒) but it is okay for you to take care of yourself in the ways your body is asking you to. That might look like movement, sleep, rest, connection, or alone-time.
One other way we can take care of ourselves? By cooking the things you need to get through the week. Fed, satisfied, and ready to take on whatever the day throws at you. Start looking at your meal prep as self-care. Because it is.
*Our lord = Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Charli XCX
This is a guide, not a rulebook. It’s here to help you build balanced meals, not lock you into anything rigid. Swap ingredients, make changes, take what you need, and leave the rest. ♥️
This plan follows my OKP Signature Method, designed to reduce decision fatigue and make the healthy choice the easy choice.
Here’s the structure:
• One breakfast you prep once and eat through the week
• One lunch you prep once and eat through the week
• One snack or dessert
• Three balanced, satisfying dinners that actually taste good (make enough for leftovers if you can!)
You’ll see ingredients repeat, that’s intentional. These are foods that consistently deliver lean protein, fiber, whole grains, nutrients, and flavor.
These recipes are designed to be meal-prep friendly. No soggy lunches by Wednesday, and no four-serving recipes for a five-day workweek (unless we change to a 4-day workweek, which I fully support 😊).
The goal is simple: get you through the week well-fed and happy.
These are the kinds of meals I eat week to week as a dietitian who focuses on feeling good. There’s enough variety to keep things interesting, but not so much that you need a brand-new grocery list every week. If you like something, bookmark it and make it again. Building a roster of go-to recipes is how you start cooking from memory, riff on your favorites, and make healthy eating sustainable long-term.
Eat well. Feel good. Repeat next week.
Breakfast: Cottage Cheese Breakfast Strata
Ingredients:
